| I wish I felt that way. |
[Dec. 8th, 2008|10:35 pm] |
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My world is full of happiness, but it's riddled with holes. Tonight I was shot, and one of those holes formed right in my chest. You can see the other side. Nothing left but smoke and death. It's silly really, with so much love there is inevitably bound to be much hurt. Love is all that is left in the end. It has to be. |
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| And so I surface on the blogosphere again. |
[Dec. 7th, 2008|02:50 am] |
It has been some time since I last posted on here. To recap and summarize what has happened since I was last on here: I went to Mexico, am now 4th year at the university of Victoria in the field of microbiology and biochemistry. My GPA has taken a significant hit due to events explained later. Now I am not gunning for med school anymore, I am settling with grad school. That cute girl has come and gone. I am now single and see no real potential on the horizon for the next relationship. It's not that there isn't anyone out there, it's just I don't want to be in another relationship. I've met some really cool people, and I am enjoying their company. I am currently in the midsts of final exams. One down, which went really well, and two more to go. I can't wait till I am done school. I have two rats, ones name is bear and the other is Bianca, and I think bianca just tore a chunk out of my foot. They are adorable. This journal entry was rather sloppy, and I hope to make the next ones clearer. Oh and I had an interview for a research assistant position at Uvic. I hope I get it.
Signing off,
B. |
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| me |
[Sep. 1st, 2007|11:18 am] |
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| Oh so SICK!!! |
[Mar. 12th, 2007|11:18 am] |
I caught a cold, oh no! I hope it goes away quick. I will douse it with ginger lemon tea...an old trusted cold tradition. Mmmm ginger.
I went and got some new pots yesterday with Monique at capitol iron, and some lanterns from china town.
They look awesome, and sexy. Can't wait to put them up in my new apartment.
I filled out an application for a scholarship for transfering from a college to a univeristy today...I was not pleased. My average has dropped half a letter grade!!! Dang it! I now have a B average. Lame, I knew I could slack a bit in school because I was already past the average for a university transfer but I miss my good averages. I better becareful, if I do bad this term I could really actually miss my chance to get accepted into third year. Nawww, that wont happen, but I wanted that scholarship! Oh well. I should be studying my cell biology right now, but I'm here complaining about my marks instead. Haha.
Oh the pots!
They are totally great! I can't wait to repot plants!
Keep it real! |
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| New home! |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|04:59 pm] |
That is my new home for atleast the next year. Hopefully it's a good one.
I want a necklace. Something plain and robust. It's been ages since I wore one. I think I would like something like that. Or mayhaps some sort of wrist band or something.
Even though I will be paying rent(rent=lame) I will have enough money to go traveling this spring/summer. I'll definately need to find some steady work this summer for sure. Maybe some office admin/data entry will be hiring somewhere. If not there is always donating blood....YOUR BLOOD!!!
This Monday, I got a chance to see Nikki and her baby. My oh my what a cute pair. It would be amazing to become a parent, and to bring a new life into this world. Such discovery. One day maybe I too will have a child. Actually I would love a child. Hopefully Monique doesn't realize I have been slipping her high pregnancy pills! With babies already built inside them. I'm kidding. Allergies are a serious matter. Anyways pictures of the baby from my view. I should have taken another picture, sorry Martin!
Also the cutest thing ever!
So full of noodle box, needed a little nappy. Mmmm nappy. |
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| Do not forget. |
[Mar. 5th, 2007|11:13 pm] |
What happened to my memory? I used to have great memory, which brings me to my question. Where did it go? I bet it is due to too much computer and not enough time thinking. Could be lack of sleep. It could be I'm not meant for this world... Whatever the case, I need it back.
Brains go in!
I understand the immune response now, not to the nth degree, but to a decent understanding. This is important to me, as it has been my past 2 and a half years work. However, knowing what I have to do is depressing to say the least.
In order to understand the immune response I need to know it's interactions with antigens. In order to get an exact response the immune system has to be alive and running till point of study. This is where I have a dilema. A few weeks ago I ended up dismembering and extracting haemolymph of a Madagascar hissing cockroach(the blood). It was a terrible feeling while I cut off the drunken(etherized) roaches legs to drain it's haemolymph.
The procedure to test to see if an immune system of a cockroach is adaptive is thusly.
First you must have a control(like with at clinical studies), a inorganic antigen(why not? Might as well test it), and an organic antigen.
You inject the etherized roaches with one group of samples as control, another group as the inorganic, and another group as the organic antigens. Once injected they are given time to let their systems deal with the foreign antigens. Once that is dealt with and time is given, you can harvest the haemolymph. This is a matter for scissors and tweezers, hardened spirits, and no compassion. It was terrible.
Secondly, once the haemolymph is obtained, you test it with the organic antigen(sheeps blood). All three groups get tested with the sheeps blood: the control, the inorganic, and the organic haemolymph. Once that is allowed time to interact, you place your findings under a microscope with the appropriate reagents. You will notice that if the immune system is an adaptive response there will be a significant increase in the rate too which, or an increase in the effectiveness in the inorganic, and organic groups when compared to the control. Thusly this is how you test for an adaptive immune system. Course there are a hundred more steps, with staining and cultivating, but this is the quick and dirty of it.
But there is still the problem of animal testing. It is pretty much apparent that I will be testing and working on, insects, rats and mice, and rabbits. I don't want that. I will only hope that for the undergrad degree at UVic does not do testing like Camosun. Then when I get into med school, only dead cadivers are my only subjects. I must also think whether or not, I am willing to deal with the sick and dying. Is medicine my calling? What of research and exploration? We shall see.
Maybe I should volunteer at the hospital. I should anyways, to see what it is like.
In loving memory.
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| C'est la vie. |
[Mar. 1st, 2007|03:38 pm] |
School is going well, aside from my French. Today I was talking to a few of the other students in my French class. They all have the same problem as me. They all love French but the teach is a tyrant. We are all full of anxiety. The teacher might be a nice person, I don't know, but she makes you feel so dumb. It's a first year course for people who have never spoken French before. She does not give you enough time to work out anything in your head. You have a moment to respond with no stuttering delay or mistake. If you pause or faulter she says a rude, "no" or "you are done, someone else?" I wont let it discourage me. Having another language is to interesting, too important, and too much fun not to do cause some teacher is a rude stereotype.
On the other hand yesterday was so beautiful: the sun, the blue sky, and the snow. Such big flakes decending upon us. If only it would stay that way.
The other day Monique and I tried to go to the tea room at the Empress. When did the price of tea and biscuits cost 40 dollars a person? It probably had something to do with the evening and a more elaborate service, consisting of a large aray of food. I would still like to have tea with Monique however. Maybe the one in Oakbay or Jamesbay. Maybe I will dress up like a gentlemen.
I found a used chair on the side of the road. It was sheer luck. It is one of the neat chairs I've been looking for forever!
It has a blue foamy that will be where I but my bottom. They are very relaxing as chairs, and very comfortable for sleeping.
I've also taken up painting since last I wrote. Monique gave me two canvases for christmas. It's amazing to paint I love creating, not that I am very good at it, but truly a fun thing to do. Here is, so far, what I have created. Monique helped of course.
It is a picture of the Russian, and Polish flag with a robot, Stalin, and a panda bear looking off into the distance for a better future with communism. It symbolizes Stalins mockery of pure communism. It's not done yet... Stalin's skin is going to be hard to really do.
Now to leave you all with a piece of the world we live in.
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| Django, you will be missed. |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|12:10 am] |
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9:00pm, My love was taken from me. Django, you will be missed forever. I love you. Good night dear friend. Till we meet again. |
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| Andrew and Bin gods of music |
[Dec. 30th, 2006|01:30 am] |
We made a couple of good songs tonight. One being Candy invasion, the other I'm going to jail.
I don't know if I can put them on here...I will try.
FUGIT! I can't... Well it's golden. Mind you. I don't want anyone under 18 to listen to it.
B. |
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| I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad. |
[Nov. 20th, 2006|11:48 pm] |
Well the Decemberists fucking cancelled!!! WHAT THE FUCK! I'm kidding. I'm not actually sad. Some things just turn out how they do for certain reasons. I respect that. My stomache aches and I learned many new things on this night. It also turns out that I'm really smarter then I even think I am. It's funny, I can learn alot from just sitting and thinking. Wow I hope that doesn't sound as pretentious as I just sounded when I wrote that back. Hmm.
I am tired, organic chem midterm this thursday. Truly my only cause for alarm...and what a cause. This idea of being a doctor is kinda a bit much. It's going to be a lot of work. Then again who else would you like poking and prodding at you? Come on, I would be great for the job.
Adieu,
Bintavio
shiny on the outside, buzzing with diodes on the inside. |
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| Harr! |
[Jul. 9th, 2006|09:48 am] |
I started officially seeing Monique now for the past week. Mmm, tickles my fancy. Such a pretty girl.
We saw pirates of the carribean, I think I laughed more in this one. However, Sparrow ends up a much greater scoundrel then I would have guest. And It left it on an unconclusional cliff hanger. I hear, however, that they filmed the 3 one at the same time or right after it cuase filming it at the same time doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Then again, it's not like you really have to film in chronological order when making a movie.
I've signed up for my camosun college courses, and I need to defer my UBC registration date too january. Maybe I should call.
Oh and my cell phone fell in the ocean, doh! I need to pick up a new one soon, being without it almost feels naked. But without the good feeling of suprise. |
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| The stars are shinning bright! and I'm not drunk, I swear! |
[Jul. 3rd, 2006|12:41 pm] |
Yay, we are going out. Huzzah!
I bought and african millipede, named him gilgamesh. Now he is missing! Oh no! I'm sure he will turn up... I hope he is alright. I'll get a new one this week I think.
I just renewed my learners. Hopefully I'll be driving within the next two weeks.
Tool in august! I bought the tickets! sweet! |
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| Huh... |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|06:31 pm] |
Well things are a little more complicated. Hmm.
I have a new job as a gardener! It's great. Pays 15~20 dollars an hour, and it is easy.
The sun is the hardest part; however, I don't mind it at all. Hmm, maybe I'll save some money and go to Mexico, or brazil. Mmmm diving. |
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| Summer Solictice post notes! |
[Jun. 22nd, 2006|07:21 pm] |
I picked her up from work, and then we had dinner. I made a nice portobello mushroom burger and salad. Then we watched march of the penguins. My word, she is great. She loves animals as much as me! How can I not find her attractive. Bah!
Yay, summer! I may have a new job! One that does not require me to wake up at 4:00am, and pays twice as much! I would be a gardener. Totally under the table so 15=like 17$. Mainly parttime, which is preferred.
Yes, I think vancouver next weekend should be fine. As well, water slides this weekend! |
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| Yeah! coffee! |
[Jun. 19th, 2006|11:35 am] |
I'm going for a coffee with this incredibly cute girl. She likes biology (or atleast she majors in it), and she likes to do out doors things like rock climbing; Which, I am totally down for. Can't complain.
I am so sore, and, to top it all, can't sleep past 8am. I can't sleep in! curses! Stupid early job. Blows soooo much, but oh well it's work.
I should go somewhere, like Vancouver. Maybe, indeed. |
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| Wakening! |
[Jun. 18th, 2006|11:33 am] |
Hurrut! I live!
Lastnight I had a few drinks at my friend Andrew's place cuase it was his birthday. It was relaxing, lots of people, and good friends. But no Hayworth! Damn it all, it's been ages! |
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bintavio's journal